The Labor of Love of a Special Needs Mom is no joke.
They work every day, all day, all night and don't sleep much. Their job description is endless, their work is never done.
Special Needs Moms do everything for their kids. They feel every challenge as if it their own hurdle. They work hard and celebrate every success as if it was their own, because it is, they work for it too. They don't give up, even if everyone else has.
They cry tears of joy and tears of sorrow, sometimes at the same time. Tears of joy can come easily, with an unexpected breakthough, a long-awaited accomplishment or just a tiny move in the right direction.
Tears of sorrow can come even easier. Watching your child struggle is something Special Needs Moms deal with and know well. It's gut wrenching.
They wear many hats. They are advocates, therapy givers, boo boo kissers, ticklers, game players, teachers, sisters, daughters, wives, some play the role of 2 parents, cleaners, laundry doers, lunch makers, bathers, taxi drivers, interpreters, translaters, cooks and a million more.
They give hugs that can fix anything. The safest place on the planet is in their arms.
Special Needs Moms didn't plan on living this life but have moved forward full speed ahead. They learned to speak a new language in a new world so they can help their kiddo.
Special Needs Moms are never off duty.
Their love is unconditional.
They are truly the unsung heroes.
Family with 4 kids. Autism included.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
The Ugly Cry
Day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, we are living Autism.
Autism has moved in and become a permanent fixture in our daily lives. We eat,
breathe and (hopefully) sleep it. For those of us who are are living it day in
and day out, life can get really stressful. We work 24 hours a day 7 days a week
with huge stress loads, little to no sleep, and don't take good care of
ourselves. We all do it and deal with it in our own ways.
Every minute, we have to keep our shit together. We have to be the strong one, keeping our family moving forward. We work hard making plans, going to appointments, following sensory diets, getting kids to eat and sleep and bathe, cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning the house.
We play nice with some therapists, teachers, child study teams, other parents, relatives and friends. And, not so nice with others. Throw some ignorant people in the mix and the stress level can skyrocket.
Most importantly we are strong for our kids. Those on and off the spectrum. We have to create a stable and balanced environment for all of our kids. Spectrum kids can make that tough to provide for NT kids. We don't have the luxury of doing what 'normal' families do and all do stuff together. We often have to divide and conquer. We oftern have to seperate to have breaks. We live a lifestyle of constant trial and error. With little to no rest or relaxation.
We all cope in different ways and deal with stress differently, if at all. There is a time when being the constant driving force hits the wall. A private breakdown or what I call...The Ugly Cry...the total release of emotional buildup, frustrations, anger, saddness, lonliness etc. It's a brief event and then it's back to business. Because that family needs their leader back and she can never be off duty.
(Originally published on 1/15/13 on my former blog SuperMom Wears Autism Goggles/Team Bradley)
Every minute, we have to keep our shit together. We have to be the strong one, keeping our family moving forward. We work hard making plans, going to appointments, following sensory diets, getting kids to eat and sleep and bathe, cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning the house.
We play nice with some therapists, teachers, child study teams, other parents, relatives and friends. And, not so nice with others. Throw some ignorant people in the mix and the stress level can skyrocket.
Most importantly we are strong for our kids. Those on and off the spectrum. We have to create a stable and balanced environment for all of our kids. Spectrum kids can make that tough to provide for NT kids. We don't have the luxury of doing what 'normal' families do and all do stuff together. We often have to divide and conquer. We oftern have to seperate to have breaks. We live a lifestyle of constant trial and error. With little to no rest or relaxation.
We all cope in different ways and deal with stress differently, if at all. There is a time when being the constant driving force hits the wall. A private breakdown or what I call...The Ugly Cry...the total release of emotional buildup, frustrations, anger, saddness, lonliness etc. It's a brief event and then it's back to business. Because that family needs their leader back and she can never be off duty.
(Originally published on 1/15/13 on my former blog SuperMom Wears Autism Goggles/Team Bradley)
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Dear Autism,
I never suspected that you and I would have a relationship. I never thought
I would know you so well. No matter how well I know you, you always surprise
me. Sometimes it's a bad surprise, a good punch in the gut. And other times,
the surprise is nothing short of a miracle.
Every time I think I have you figured out, when I think I have a good strategy in place, just when I think I know what to expect, you change your game without any notice. I can never be comfortable in your presence.
You don't play fair. You are known for throwing curve balls. There are no rules playing with you. I can never be totally comfortable because I know you are there. I never really know what's up or what to expect. I try to be as ready as I can. I always have to have my game face on.
I appreciate the good qualities that you have brought. I do not appreciate the bad ones and I get angry at you for making things so difficult for my family. There are many times when things that should be easy and simple are horrible and difficult because of you. You have made the smallest things at times impossible. On the other hand, you have made me appreciate the small things and celebrate the tiny successes because I now know that they can be the most joyous.
As you know, over the past two years our relationship changes by the minute. Sometimes I'm mad at you, sometimes I absolutely despise you, sometimes I accept your uninvited presence, and sometimes I actually even like you.
I understand that my feelings on this will continue to change and cycle just as everything here does. I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions with you. You have brought me to tears in an instant, broken my heart, made me the happiest and the saddest person on the planet, all at the same time.
There will always be good days and bad days. I will never be able to trust you since you are so unpredictable. Our relationship will probably always change day to day. However, I am sure we will never be besties.
From,
Mommy
(originally published 12/10/12 on my former blog, SuperMom wears Autism Goggles/Team Bradley)
Every time I think I have you figured out, when I think I have a good strategy in place, just when I think I know what to expect, you change your game without any notice. I can never be comfortable in your presence.
You don't play fair. You are known for throwing curve balls. There are no rules playing with you. I can never be totally comfortable because I know you are there. I never really know what's up or what to expect. I try to be as ready as I can. I always have to have my game face on.
I appreciate the good qualities that you have brought. I do not appreciate the bad ones and I get angry at you for making things so difficult for my family. There are many times when things that should be easy and simple are horrible and difficult because of you. You have made the smallest things at times impossible. On the other hand, you have made me appreciate the small things and celebrate the tiny successes because I now know that they can be the most joyous.
As you know, over the past two years our relationship changes by the minute. Sometimes I'm mad at you, sometimes I absolutely despise you, sometimes I accept your uninvited presence, and sometimes I actually even like you.
I understand that my feelings on this will continue to change and cycle just as everything here does. I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions with you. You have brought me to tears in an instant, broken my heart, made me the happiest and the saddest person on the planet, all at the same time.
There will always be good days and bad days. I will never be able to trust you since you are so unpredictable. Our relationship will probably always change day to day. However, I am sure we will never be besties.
From,
Mommy
(originally published 12/10/12 on my former blog, SuperMom wears Autism Goggles/Team Bradley)
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