The Ugly Cry

Day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, we are living Autism. Autism has moved in and become a permanent fixture in our daily lives. We eat, breathe and (hopefully) sleep it. For those of us who are are living it day in and day out, life can get really stressful. We work 24 hours a day 7 days a week with huge stress loads, little to no sleep, and don't take good care of ourselves. We all do it and deal with it in our own ways.

Every minute, we have to keep our shit together. We have to be the strong one, keeping our family moving forward. We work hard making plans, going to appointments, following sensory diets, getting kids to eat and sleep and bathe, cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning the house.

We play nice with some therapists, teachers, child study teams, other parents, relatives and friends. And, not so nice with others. Throw some ignorant people in the mix and the stress level can skyrocket.

Most importantly we are strong for our kids. Those on and off the spectrum. We have to create a stable and balanced environment for all of our kids. Spectrum kids can make that tough to provide for NT kids. We don't have the luxury of doing what 'normal' families do and all do stuff together. We often have to divide and conquer. We oftern have to seperate to have breaks. We live a lifestyle of constant trial and error. With little to no rest or relaxation.

We all cope in different ways and deal with stress differently, if at all. There is a time when being the constant driving force hits the wall. A private breakdown or what I call...The Ugly Cry...the total release of emotional buildup, frustrations, anger, saddness, lonliness etc. It's a brief event and then it's back to business. Because that family needs their leader back and she can never be off duty.


(Originally published on 1/15/13 on my former blog SuperMom Wears Autism Goggles/Team Bradley)