In a house full of Autism, we prepare and discuss upcoming events over and over and over and over and over etc! Hundreds of times. Literally.
However, questions often come up that I don't know the answers to. Answers that are impossible for me to know. Answering such questions incorrectly can lead to immediate disaster. This is not a guessing game. Assumptions can be deadly... I'm sure you've heard the line about assuming...here the ass is always ALL ME!
Sometimes we can successfully redirect and dodge a bullet but other times people on the west coast can hear our meltdown happening on the east coast.
It's really amazing how their brains work and think about things because they ask questions and worry about stuff that would never in a million years pop into my brain. Like being worried about ice cream coming in a plastic or glass bowl. I don't care what ice cream comes in as long as it gets to me!
They ask a million questions over and over and very quickly. It's like rapid fire coming from 4 directions. I must be careful to always be paying attention to what they're saying cause if I misstep then it's trouble. They'll catch me in the next rotation of questions and will know my answer isn't the same as one of the hundreds of times before and someone or multiple people will lose it. The car rides going places are consumed with a constant drilling of events that are going to take place, their order, what the people would be wearing, will there be boys or girls, what room will I go in when I get there, what color will it be, will the food be on plates or bowls, will there be a potty there, will the cups have lids and straws, etc etc etc.
Sometimes I won't remember what I said the last time a certain question was asked and then I'm screwed. I can see it in their eyes that they are waiting for me to say the same thing, almost forming the answer with their mouths in anticipation of what is coming out of mine and I don't know what to say!
I've gotten good at trying to answer but not answer questions, giving them some vague response that throws the question back to them or sort of leaves it open-ended. The best I can hope for sometimes is to throw them off for a minute or I can hope that they or another kiddo will spit out the answer I forgot.
Question diversion is just another one of those skills I've developed as an Autism Mom. If I could just get my memory to keep up we would be better off but that probably involves sleep so I'll keep hoping for sleep.
"I don't know" is a legit answer, too!
ReplyDeleteAt least in my son, the rapid-fire questions are usually an expression of deep anxiety, and he is looking for answers as a way of looking for emotional security. So I will tell him that his voice is loud and worried-sounding, that he is speaking too quickly for me to understand. I give him a hug and redirect him to calming activities. I tell him that it's OK to ask for love and attention when he needs it.
Oh, Mama. My heart goes out to you. My son hasn't gotten to the question stage yet. He asks a few, but very rarely. I can't imagine it times four. (((hugs))) Hang in there.
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